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| The Perpetual trophy - winners get their very own mugs! |
(photos © Sandra Nixon)
We had 11 enteries & 3 winners -
First - The Other Noonans, last year's winners, who hoped to win again so each of them could have a mug!
Second - Russell Churcher - with another song in his medical series
Third - Jane Scott -
Thanks to Robyn Sykes for listing the competitors, & to the winners for their lyrics.
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1. MEGA (Mary, Trud, Merilyn) - Make Elections Great Again.
2. Jane Scott - The times, they need a changing 3rd
3. Maurie Mulheron - Wild Colonial
4. Russell Churcher - Where has all my urine gone? 2nd
5. Edward Nass - Been Nowhere Man
6. Doug Richardson - The Cockie's Lament aka Mortein Spray
or The Cockroach Song -
https://blog.bushmusic.org.au/2019/11/65-songs-for-65-years-history-in-songs.html
- see images 27-28
7. Peter Willey - Blow up Doll
8. Kevin Donegan - Walz & Kamala
9. Steve Wilson - Koala Bear
10. Nick & Tia - I am an idiot
11. The Other Noonans - Little Tossers - 1st
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The Winner! Little Tossers by The Other Noonans
chorus: little tossers down in Canberra
little tossers made of winky wanky
little tossers, little tossers
little tossers all the same
there’s a red one and a blue one
and a green one and a teal one
and they all sit on little benches
and they all whitewash the same.
they are chauffered up to Parliament
where the bar opens at ten o’clock in the morning
so when it’s boring
hey can all choose to get pissed
and in the afternoon during Question Time
most don’t pay attention
sleep through climate and housing policies
well, there’s nothing really missed!
chorus: … and they all greenwash the same.
in the prayer room, touchy-feely
some old boys bring prostitutes
some are young ones, mostly male ones
they all stiffen just the same
then at home time
or after drinkies time
or anything to do with Greenies time
they are driven by their minions
and their cars look all the same.
chorus: … and they all tealwash the same.
wrinkly tossers, chase the boxes
of the staffers in their vicinity
a facility for the tossers
to bang boxes just the same
when they leave politics to be grown-ups
most work for the military
become bankers or pentecostals
they’re still wankers all the same.
Chorus: … and they Tory wash the same.
and the children of the tossers
will go to the university
learn corruption, telling porkies
taking handouts just the same
they’ll be lawyers
they’ll be bankers
mining magnates and psychopaths
olden handshakes or golden showers
well, they both stink just the same!
chorus: … and they all brainwash the same
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2nd Russell Churcher - The Dreaded Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia Blues
Martyn Churcher and Russell Churcher
(with sincere apologies to Pete Seeger and Joe Hickerson)
(sung to the tune of ‘Where Have all the Flowers Gone?’)
(The Problem)
Where has all my urine gone? … long time passing
Where has all my urine gone? … (takes me a) long time to go
It dribbles out and smells so strong … I think there might be something wrong
Why does it take so long? … why does it take so long?
All night long, I’m up and down … long time passing
I go to bed, then back I come … (takes me a) long time to go
I concentrate, I push and squeeze … I pray my bladder’s empty please
No luck … try as I might … I’m up and down, all night.
(The Diagnosis)
I told the doctor why I’d come … long time passing
“You’d better drop your trousers chum” … (takes me a) long time to go
He stuck his finger up my bum … “Crikey, that’s an enormous one …
That’s why it takes so long … that’s why it takes so long.”
“Oh by the way, I’m embarrassed to say” … long time passing
“It doesn’t get as hard these days … it tends to, point to my toes”
“Don’t panic yet, we’ve got no proof … perhaps you just get brewer’s droop
No need to get upset … I won’t prescribe Viagra yet.”
They did a prostate biopsy … long time passing
And sent it to pathology … (takes me a) long time to go
Results came back, he told me straight … “You’ve just got the dreaded BPH
Count your blessings, it could be worse … take a seat, I’ll call the nurse.
(The Treatment)
“We’ll get your urethra to dilate” … long time passing
“Your flow-rate will accelerate” … (won’t take a) long time to go
“We’ll give you just a slight re-bore … hold still now, this might get sore”
I survived the ‘op.’ somehow … the bleeding’s almost settled now.
Saw palmetto … pumpkin seeds … long time passing
Lots of zinc and ‘Prostate Eze’ … (still takes a) long time to go
I’d like to finish singing this … but I’ve got to go and have a … leak
Can’t wait, I’ve got to go … can’t wait, I’ve got to go.
© 31 December 2017
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3rd - The times, they need a changin'
Words; Jane Scott, Tune Bob Dylan
1. Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
Wherever you roam
And admit that the presence
around you has grown
Of people in wheelchairs
Oh I hear you moan
That access is not worth embacin’
But you best change your tune
Or your time will have flown
Cause the times, they need à changin’.
2. Come writers and critics
Who post and who tweet
And you who will protest
aloud in the street
Gig organisers must feel rising heat
When they practice discrimination
A venue with stairs is far from sweet
And the times, they need a changin’.
3. Jordon Steele-John is a senator, now
Who rides in a chair and has cares on his brow
He fights for disabled inclusion and how
But the parliament’s full of frustration
Cause segregation’s what most pollies choose
Oh the times, they’re not a changin’.
4. Come fighters and comrades throughout the land
Disabled change makers, we need a hand
To help Australians to understand
The margins are not where we’re stayin’
Our place in society we will demand
Yes it’s time, the times were changing.
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| 1. MC ComradeSirBigRuss |
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| 2. Sound Engineer Dave |
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| 3. Maurie Mulheron & Dave |
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| 4. MEGA (Make Elections Great Again) - Mary, Trudi & Merilyn |
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| 5. MEGA, all hatted! |
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| 6. Jane Scott |
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| 7. Maurie Mulheron |
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| 8. Russell Churcher & Maurie |
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| 9. Edward Nass |
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| 10. Doug Richardson |
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| 11. Doug Richardson |
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| 12. Dave setting up Peter Willey |
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| 13. Kevin Donegon |
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| 14. Noonans |
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| 15. BigRuss introducing Steve Wilson |
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| 16. Steve without his jigdolls! |
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| 17. Rhineberger & Wilson |
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| 18. Rhineberger & Wilson |
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| 19. Rhineberger & Wilson |
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| 20. The Other Noonans |
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| 21. The Other Noonans |
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| 22. onlookers BigRuss, Peter Willey & Miguel Heatwole |
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| 23. Steve & BigRuss |
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| 24. next act includes my favourite instrument, the double bass! |
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| 25. the judges arrive |
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| 26. Judge Shez reports while Robyn Sykes & Phill In, aka Phil McManus look on |
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| 27. continued |
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| 28. The winners are presented with their (second) Mug! |
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